1. i am late! but that’s ok
October is in full swing which means that this month in review for the month of September is very late!! But that’s OK. This gives me a little bit of an uncomfortable elbow nudge of a segue into how I’ve been feeling like I’m late in life. If that makes sense? Hang on, I’ll explain – I’m 20. I’m out of my teens and I’m an Adult. Capital A. When I was younger, I always thought I’d have my shit together when I was 20. It felt like an age where I’d finally enjoy physical activity, have a handle on what credit is, be halfway through college and therefore halfway to a career path I’d love, et cetera et cetera. I’m, like, nowhere near that, guys!!! And it feels like I’m a massive fucking failure most of the time. I am not even one year into community college, and even though that’s going pretty well so far for me (knock on wood), I feel so goddamn late. I feel behind on this imaginary schedule I’ve had in my head. And I’m trying to remind myself that it’s OK to not be following the same path that all your friends are on and it’s OK to not have it all together a mere two decades into your life and it’s OK to feel this way, period. I’m trying to shift my expectations of life so that I’m not gunning for some eventual period of time where I ~arrive~* at an all-knowing point, where I’m this badass boss lady who knows what she wants, who she is, where she’s going, and all that. I’m trying to convince myself that in the future, I’m still going to be me. And that ‘me’, most likely, will still have hella anxiety about hella thingz, and I’ll probably always love pens and office products a stupid amount and I’ll probably never have everything in my life 100% figured out and that is OK! Basically, I’m here and I’m trying to convince myself that it’s entirely OK for me to just show up to life, even if I don’t feel prepared. Even if I don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of retirement funds in my head. I’m on my ~own path~*, like all those Instagram #motivationmonday hand-lettered images say, and that’s damn fucking fine.
So that’s where my head’s been at lately.
2. snaps from the camera roll
Finally pants weather in northern California! I’ve been dipping my toe into the straight legged jean thing, because Lizzy Hadfield from Shot From The Street looks so good in them all the time.
Blue skies! Good to look back at September and remember these days bc right now we’re sittin’ through wildfires.
Decor in a cafe the boyfriend and I went to brunch at one time.
New shoes that you can see a little bit of!!!! I love ’em I love ’em I love ’em.
3. the xx + tycho’s show
This month I saw The XX (and Tycho, but we missed half their set lol) with my boyfriend and they were so. good. !!! They are so good live, like their voices and songs sound just as clear and lovely as when you listen to them in your bedroom by yourself (which is what I do), and the lights were too good. Jamie also played Loud Places!! Ugh. I’m incoherent about all things I like, because I really just want to go “!!! This is so nice !!!” and that’s, you know, not super eloquent so I don’t do it. Like, how do you express how much a band’s songs and sounds speak to, comfort, heal you? Idk, bruh. Anyway, this is a single from their latest album, and it makes my heart ache when I listen to it. If you haven’t listened to the XX yet, pls do. If you have, go see them live if you can! (I would upload a video I took of the show but I don’t have WordPress Premium – we ain’t made of money over here – and so cannot upload videos. Whatever it doesn’t bother me!!) (It does bother me. Wtf wordpress.)
4. luna photo(s) of the month
5. THAT’S IT THAT’S THE END NO READING LIST I’M TIRED OF THIS SITTING IN MY DRAAAAAAFTS
thanks 4 readin folks, xo max 🙂