Month in Review

september 2017 • month in review

1. i am late! but that’s ok

October is in full swing which means that this month in review for the month of September is very late!! But that’s OK. This gives me a little bit of an uncomfortable elbow nudge of a segue into how I’ve been feeling like I’m late in life. If that makes sense? Hang on, I’ll explain – I’m 20. I’m out of my teens and I’m an Adult. Capital A. When I was younger, I always thought I’d have my shit together when I was 20. It felt like an age where I’d finally enjoy physical activity, have a handle on what credit is, be halfway through college and therefore halfway to a career path I’d love, et cetera et cetera. I’m, like, nowhere near that, guys!!! And it feels like I’m a massive fucking failure most of the time. I am not even one year into community college, and even though that’s going pretty well so far for me (knock on wood), I feel so goddamn late. I feel behind on this imaginary schedule I’ve had in my head. And I’m trying to remind myself that it’s OK to not be following the same path that all your friends are on and it’s OK to not have it all together a mere two decades into your life and it’s OK to feel this way, period. I’m trying to shift my expectations of life so that I’m not gunning for some eventual period of time where I ~arrive~* at an all-knowing point, where I’m this badass boss lady who knows what she wants, who she is, where she’s going, and all that. I’m trying to convince myself that in the future, I’m still going to be me. And that ‘me’, most likely, will still have hella anxiety about hella thingz, and I’ll probably always love pens and office products a stupid amount and I’ll probably never have everything in my life 100% figured out and that is OK! Basically, I’m here and I’m trying to convince myself that it’s entirely OK for me to just show up to life, even if I don’t feel prepared. Even if I don’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of retirement funds in my head. I’m on my ~own path~*, like all those Instagram #motivationmonday hand-lettered images say, and that’s damn fucking fine.

So that’s where my head’s been at lately.

2. snaps from the camera roll

Untitled

Finally pants weather in northern California! I’ve been dipping my toe into the straight legged jean thing, because Lizzy Hadfield from Shot From The Street looks so good in them all the time.

Untitled

Blue skies! Good to look back at September and remember these days bc right now we’re sittin’ through wildfires. :/

Untitled

Sk000000l

Untitled

Decor in a cafe the boyfriend and I went to brunch at one time.

Untitled

New shoes that you can see a little bit of!!!! I love ’em I love ’em I love ’em.

3. the xx + tycho’s show

This month I saw The XX (and Tycho, but we missed half their set lol) with my boyfriend and they were so. good. !!! They are so good live, like their voices and songs sound just as clear and lovely as when you listen to them in your bedroom by yourself (which is what I do), and the lights were too good. Jamie also played Loud Places!! Ugh. I’m incoherent about all things I like, because I really just want to go “!!! This is so nice !!!” and that’s, you know, not super eloquent so I don’t do it. Like, how do you express how much a band’s songs and sounds speak to, comfort, heal you? Idk, bruh. Anyway, this is a single from their latest album, and it makes my heart ache when I listen to it. If you haven’t listened to the XX yet, pls do. If you have, go see them live if you can! (I would upload a video I took of the show but I don’t have WordPress Premium – we ain’t made of money over here – and so cannot upload videos. Whatever it doesn’t bother me!!) (It does bother me. Wtf wordpress.)

4. luna photo(s) of the month

Untitled

Untitled

5. THAT’S IT THAT’S THE END NO READING LIST I’M TIRED OF THIS SITTING IN MY DRAAAAAAFTS

thanks 4 readin folks, xo max 🙂

Advertisements
Standard
Month in Review

august 2017 • month in review

1. back to school

Untitled

So, school is a thing that I have started doing again. It’s, um, alright? I’m two weeks into community college at home in CA, and it’s – it’s alright. I have a lot of feelings about it (I have a lot of feelings about a lot of things, tbh), going from “oh my god I’m behind at life I’m a complete failure what am I doing with myself” to the very rare “I’m gonna do it! I’m gonna kill it! This is a step in my vast journey that we call life and it’s going to be so educational and rewarding!” On most days, we go 60-40 between those two points.

2. reading (etc) list

How It Feels to Be Free by Camryn Garrett on Rookie Mag: This month was a shitty month in terms of going-ons in the country (i.e. white supremacy rearing its ugly head), but then again, most months are. In the few days after the white nationalist march in Charlottesville, VA, I was scrolling through Instagram and saw a screenshotted block of text from Tavi Gevinson’s account. I followed the link in bio to this piece by Camryn Garrett on Rookie, and oh man. It says so eloquently and succinctly what all black feminists must be thinking, in a way that I can sort of relate to, but will never be able to wholly relate to, because my people weren’t enslaved and killed etc etc. Here’s an excerpt from the end:

I don’t want to sacrifice myself for the sake of white feelings. I don’t want to sacrifice black artists and their creations in order for white people to feel like we live in a post-racial society. I will no longer change my language in order to make white people feel comfortable in a conversation about police brutality. We are not just uncomfortable. We are dying. We are being murdered, and despite our protests, people in power are not putting a stop to it. In this world, in this country, in the year 2016, being polite and saving white people from hurt feelings cannot be more important than black lives.

Continue reading

Standard
Month in Review

may 2017 • month in review

Another month down, and big things are gonna be happening – I’ll be going back to the US on the 9th of June, which makes these last few days in London all the more precious. I haven’t gone anywhere too far off and exotic this month, but I’m kind of a homebody, so that’s been nice. Also, when ‘home’ is currently ‘London’, home is full of things to do anyway, so it’s not like I’ve been staying in some potato farm in the middle of nowhere. (Although that might be cool? I would presumably have access to all those potatoes to eat.)

Anyway, this month in review we’ve got some cat photos (as always), some thoughts against digital detoxes and the Karlie Kloss/Joshua Kushner relationship (yes he’s Jared Kushner’s brother yes that means if Karlie ever gets married to him there’s a Taylor Swift/Donald Trump connection yes that appalls me), and a really, really great podcast episode.

1. david hockney at the tate britain

IMG_0197.JPG

Continue reading

Standard
Month in Review

april 2017 • month in review

How the frickity frack is it the end of April already?! Four months of 2017 are down, and I still feel like it’s 2012 and we’re talking about the potential apocalypse. (Of course, we could have gone through it already and just not know. You and I are in hell because Trump is president and climate change is a Thing.) Anyway, this month in review has my family’s trip to Paris, a Kid Cudi song from 2013 that I’ve just discovered, some new things I’ve acquired (including a wax seal, a Harry Potter card, and a nerdy tooth guard), and, of course, cat photos.

1. bonjour paris!

Continue reading

Standard