Month in Review

june 💢 month in review

June’s been over for a bit, and this time it really fuckin’ crept up on me in a way that hasn’t happened in a bit. I woke up on July 1st, looked at my phone, and was like “FUCK, July already?!” June was a teeny bit of a mess in my mind, I’d say. It’s been a shitty month of a shitty presidential administration and I’ve started my summer classes and it’s fucking boiling hot and we’ve seen some really fucking awful wildfires near where I live and my lord I’ve just been so harried. The prevailing feeling of June has been how I feel whenever I go to the airport – when I feel like I’ve forgotten something but it’s too late to turn back and I’m not even sure what that something is and I’m kinda behind schedule anyway and I marinate in anxiety for the entire journey to the plane.

1. suicide, kate spade, + anthony bourdain

Not to get super heavy, but sort of definitely to get really heavy because that’s what ya gotta do sometimes, the suicides of two really prominent people in American culture got us all thinking and talking about depression and what goes up in our brains. Mental health is something I think about a lot, mostly because I have hella anxiety and occasionally depression and if I don’t think about how to deal with it, it’s a real bad time, but it’s something I wish everyone thought about much, much more.

This is not a think piece about Kate or Anthony or how to prevent suicide or mental illness or get better, because all I have are my own experiences. But I just wanted to say something about it, as a thing that’s so goddamn near and dear to my heart. I try to be really open about my mental health struggz in the hopes that it might help anyone either deal with their own mental illness or be more empathetic and understanding of someone else’s. In our office a couple weeks ago, I was chattering away and oversharing (as usual) and another intern shared that he was going to his first therapy session for anxiety and depression and was having a really hard time talking about it with his friends and family. We had a talk about it and at the end he said something like ‘thanks for being so open, it really helps to see someone on the other end who understands’ and I almost cried from relief.

Anyway, to close, I hope everyone out there is doing OK, and if you’re not, that you’re still hanging on. If you’re in the US, our national suicide prevention number is 1-800-273-TALK, but if you hate talking on the phone like me you can text 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. If you’re worried about someone you know, there’s a Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale (C-SSRS) that’s a series of simple questions to gauge risk and what kind of support someone may need. There’s hope somewhere for all of us out there even if it’s hard to find right now.

(Image from Hyperbole and a Half, the truest gem on the internet that there ever was, and probably the first big positive influence on my mental health. Allie speaks so hilariously and so truly about a shitty fucking thing. Also I think of her alot probably every day.)

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Month in Review

may ☀️ month in review

It’s that time of the month again! Not as in the colloquialism we commonly use for periods, although that is also true – my period usually falls right about the beginning of the month – but the time for a month in review blawg post. May brought me to the end of the spring semester and to the beginning of SUMMER! Or at least, the few weeks of no classes I have until my summer classes start.

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1. i’m exhausted!

May was the end of my spring semester and oh my god I was/am so goddamn tired. I think I am experiencing, what do the kids call it, “burn out”. Or perhaps it’s one word, “burnout”? Idk. Anyway, I did it, I burned myself out. I mean, I’ve been napping like crazy the past couple weeks and last night I slept for, like, 14 hours, dudes. I’m sort of confused about it, because I feel like I should feel more energized, what with being out of school and everything, but in hindsight I took terrible care of myself and it all caught up with me as soon as I exhaled into summer. I’m going to try and ask for some days off work/interning and just rest, but I also need to just take care of myself all the time and make that a non-negotiable thing in my life. Like, getting enough sleep, eating good food, exercising and being active, meditating…. all things I should really do and not in a bougie wine mom hobby kind of way but in a “I really need to do this or else I will feel like shit” kind of way. Fun times realizing you’re burning the candle at both ends and not living sustainably, eh!?!?!??!?????

2. the met gala

The first Monday of May brought us, of course, the Met Gala!! The last time I did a lil ~red carpet review~* was a couple months ago for the Grammys/Golden Globes, and once again no one asked for my thoughts, but I’m gonna give them anyway. For this event, the thing I despise the most is when people show up looking like they’re going to junior prom like Emma Roberts did last year. I mean, you’ve been given an invitation to come to this amazing event, to get an advance viewing of the Costume Institute’s annual exhibition, to wear something crazy and themed, and you squander it on…this? You could have just bought a Comme des Garçons outfit, it wasn’t that hard, Emma. OK, that’s enough venting about my general frustration vis-à-vis celebrities and the Met Ball lol let’s move on

FASHUN PROM QUEEN

Blake Lively (in Atelier Versace + all the other wonderful things she has on her body) is that girl in high school who is gorgeous and talented and popular and yet is also the sweetest, nicest, funniest person.

CONTINUING THIS FASHUN PROM ANALOGY…

Obviously the best dressed man – Chadwick Boseman in Versace. Honorable mention to Donald Glover with that back of the suit action.

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OK, so I obviously am running with this high school analogy, but this’ll be the last thing I say regarding that lol – if this were fashion prom, these 2 groups would be the most fun groups at the big house party afterwards. I want to talk boys with Troye and I want Ariana to tell me all about Pete Davidson and I want Hailey to do my makeup and Shawn can like sing or something while she does that. I don’t even need to explain why Migos would be fun, right?

(Troye Sivan in Valentino; Ariana Grande in Vera Wang; Hailey Baldwin in Tommy Hilfiger; Shawn Mendes in Tommy Hilfiger – Migos in Versace)

MY FAV 3~

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I like sparkly things.

(Stella Maxwell in Versace; Rihanna in Maison Margiela by John Galliano; Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzarra)

BEST BEAUTY/ACCESSORIES

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Best Overall: Lily Collins’ whole makeup look was my jam and I also think she had the best halo of the night.

Best Anna Wintour Earrings: Keltie Knight, who I honestly only know of because she’s friends with Jac Vanek (scene queen who used to make those rubber bracelets all the emo dreamboats wore), wore these amaaaaazing Anna Wintour earrings. They were handmade by Courtney Prince and Keltie’s gown, by Paolo Sebastian, is also a stunner.

Best Bedazzled Eyebrows: Cynthia Erivo, the eyebrow equivalent of a mic drop

IDK WHAT HAPPENED HERE GALS

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Party City Halloween Ho But Make it Fa$hun: Taylor Hill in Diane von Furstenberg

Most Disappointing: Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton. I mean, idk what happened with Emma! I loved her a few awards seasons ago! Remember that 2 piece pink look?! I pray every day that she might return to those glory days.

Most Consistently Disappointing: Hailee Steinfeld in Prabal Gurung. I’m not sure why I’m still disappointed with this one. I should just expect to be disappointed.

MOST GROUNDBREAKING

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I mean, can you push the envelope more, you guys?!? Holy shit. See also: the bajillion other male celebs who also wore boring. ass. shit.

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Photo Diary, Travel

socal 🎨 spring break photo diary (pt. 2 of 2)

On this day, my frond Olive and I headed to LA, city of angels, city of girls with very long fingernails, city of The Broad art museum!!!!! We did a couple other things too, but the main attraction was obviously The Broad.

(Above is my attempt at a cute handwritten title card, done with the back pages of my planner and photographed with my phone and messily cut out with my old Photoshop app. Ta da. Am I happy with it? Not really. Am I so unhappy with it that I’m willing to spend more time learning how to do it better right now? Also not really. Maybe when I’m like 72 I’ll be a self-taught PS master.)

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We went to Sprinkles Cupcakes, which, if you’ve spent any time at all on Instagram, you’ve probably seen a photo of their cupcake ATMs. A basic bee’s pilgrimage, honestly lol. The writing in the ceiling circle (what an awful description, but lmk if you can think of a better way to refer to that lol) is an ice cream recipe from Benjamin Franklin, I think. How cerebral/historic/cool, right? I appreciated that.

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The location we went to had both cupcakes and ice cream, and I prefer ice cream over cake so I got a cupcake sundae type thing with salted caramel ice cream and a vanilla cupcake covered with sprinkles. A word of warning – the salted caramel flavor is super fucking salty. The girl working warned me that it would be and I even tried a bit and decided I liked it, because my usual gripe with salted caramel ice cream is that there’s too much ‘caramel’ and not enough ‘salted’. I was wrong, y’all. I was so wrong. It would have been all fine and good if it were a kid’s cup of ice cream, but it was larger than I expected and after a while it just tasted like a salt water rinse had accidentally fallen into a vat of ice cream. I had a lot of feelings about it.

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OK lol moving on from the ice cream tragedy, we also took a walk around the UC Irvine campus. These lockers are from the art department and the stickers say “everything is not going to be ok”, so in case you were wondering if things were going to turn out alright? They’re not.

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The Broad!! Pronounced like “road”, for us non-locals. Admission is free but tickets are popular, so you can either reserve tickets online for the next month (so, for example, tickets for July are released on the 1st of June) or wait in line at the door, which is what we did. I think we got there at 9 and they opened at 10, but it wasn’t a huge deal because we just sat and chatted. I don’t mind waiting in lines too much, which I think is a bit of an uncommon feeling re: queues. I guess I look at it as an opportunity to hang out with whoever you’re with, or if you’re alone, catch up on some reading or something like that. (Obviously DMV lines etc are hell on earth – this sentiment really only applies to voluntary ‘fun’-ish lines like art museum admission.)

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An infinity room! Yayoi Kusama’s famous infinity rooms were very very cool. Still undecided as to whether the strict time limits are a valuable part of the artistic experience or just annoying as hell. I didn’t take a ton of photos on my camera as I was freaked out because of the time limits, so I just kind of waved my phone around and tried to take it in.

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The paid exhibition going on at that time was for Jasper Johns. We just did the free stuff.

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Month in Review

april 🐣 month in review


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1. the end is nigh

As in, the end of the spring semester is nigh. And I cannot fucking wait. I need a break!!! I need summer!!! I need to lounge around all day in shorts and wear Birkenstocks 24/7. I’ve just started an internship with a state senator, so I’ve been doing that for the past couple weeks + my 5 classes + my part-time job at a restaurant + you know, living as a human bean andddd my self-care is suffering like mad. By that I don’t mean that I’ve been taking 2 bubble baths a week instead of 6, I mean I’ve gotten so little sleep I’ve felt dangerously sleepy while driving home from school/work/internship/wherever. I need to up my time management and prioritize things that make me function but aren’t fun to do (like doing dishes and keeping the Pile of Clothes on a Chair – we all have that, right? – to a minimum) or else I’m literally going to have a breakdown in the state capitol one day – I don’t think that would be a good political debut. Anyway, we’re in the home stretch! After this week I have two more weeks and then summer will be upon me. (I’ll be taking summer classes, so it’s not really a true unbridled summer of hedonism, but you know.)

2. things i liked that u cannot touch


The Story of StuffConsumerism, our beloved American way of life, is literally the shittiest thing ever. We watched this video in my environmental biology class and I think it sums up why in a really informative yet accessible way, and I especially loved the quote she mentioned from Victor Lebow, from his 1955 essay in the Journal of Retailing, which shows how we’ve been duped into our consumerist mindset by marketers and businessmen who care about $$$ more than us –

“Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfactions, our ego satisfactions in consumption. The measure of social status, of social acceptances, of prestige, is now to be found in our consumptive patterns. The very meaning and significance of our lives today expressed in consumptive terms.

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Month in Review

march ☔️ month in review

It’s the end of the month/beginning of a new month, and this time I’m comin’ at ya ONE YEAR OLDER (so a year closer to my internal age of like 93). Here’s what March looked like for me!

1. sprang break

The last week of March was spring break for me, so I took a flight down to SoCal to visit my best frond. We talked a lot, ate a lot, and it was a real good time. I think I’ll do a bigger post with more photos, but here are some quick snaps in the mean time~

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Laguna Beach! I haven’t been to a beach in a really long time and, guys, I don’t know if you know this, but the ocean is fuckin’ huge. What a new concept, right? Lol, it’s actually something that freaks me out if I think about it too much – just the sheer vastness of the water. I honestly think I could make myself hyperventilate if I thought about the ocean and space at the same time for like thirty minutes. But I digress!!!! Laguna Beach was very nice and there were some really cool tide pools where we saw a lot of anemones and even a sea star! A volunteer from some kind of marine institute was going around and helping people out and he told us that the sea star sighting was really rare, because there’s currently a disease sweeping the coast and all the starfish are dying. 😦

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This picture was taken before I found out about the sea star genocide.

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Month in Review

february ❣️ month in review

The second month of the year is over which means the third month of the year is here WHICH MEANS it’s my birthday month! Pisces szn, as all the Instagram captions go, and if my Panda Express fortune is true? March will see me ~thrive~*.

1. valentine’s day + chinese (lunar) new year

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Month in Review

january 👋 month in review

The first month of the year is down! I feel a bit frantic about it, because time doesn’t stop (what a shocking revelation!) and we’re all just being pushed inexorably towards the future, which is straight up terrifying.

1. back to sk00l (again)

My spring semester has started and I cannot believe I have so much to do already. Last semester I took 4 classes, and they all went pretty well (I ended with 4 A’s), so this semester I’ve upped it to 5 classes, with 3 being honors. Here’s hoping I don’t sink!

2. red carpets – golden globes & grammys

It’s awards show season!!! What does this mean? It means we get angry over things that should’ve won and didn’t and also many famous people wear clothes on red carpets!!!! I don’t consume nearly enough media to really formulate an opinion on what is or is not worthy of an Oscar/Emmy/Grammy/Whatever Else (I have seen exactly zero (0) out of the nine (9) Oscar Best Picture nominees…), but I am capable of looking at a red carpet celebrity Look and deciding if I like it or not, so heeeeere we go. This’ll be the Golden Globes and the Grammys, with 8 looks I liked and 4 I didn’t for each event.

A quick note before we start – my criteria for a “good” look is that it looks good, of course, but also a few other things. It should be visually interesting. I want them to take risks and have fun – who else gets to wear crazy fucking feathered couture gowns!? My #1 fashion pet peeve is when celebrities wear boring ass dresses to shit like this. Like, c’mon. Groundbreaking, a black tuxedo is not. Also, the look must not rely on their skinny figure, it should stand on its own. Those are my principles – 1) Look good 2) Be interesting 3) Do not depend on skinniness for aesthetic value.

OK INTO THE ~LOOKZ!

Golden Globes

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Susan Kelechi Watson in Monsoori: I gotta admit, I don’t actually know who this woman is, but this LOOK!! The shape of her hair + the loose pant leg of the jumpsuit + the deep V neckline = perfect proportions.

Diane Kruger in Prada: Can Diane do any wrong?? Floaty ethereal wispy caped goodness. She always does so well picking dresses that are just a tad bit weird/different.

Alexis Bledel in Oscar de la Renta: I! Love! Jumpsuits!! Alexis Bledel has never stood out to me on the red carpet before, but girl pulled through here. I maybe would have liked to see her hair up and an ear climber to accessorize, but those gripes aren’t enough to push this out of the “good” category for me.

Kerry Washington in Prabal Gurung: The booties really take this look to ~the next level~*, I think – imagining this look with strappy heels or anything else completely changes it. Her waves are perfect, too, and I love the undone quality of that hairstyle with the glitzy slit dress.

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Zoe Kravitz in Saint Laurent: This is a look I hesitated a bit to add, because it’s reaaaally simple. But I still put it here because although it is simple, simple things can be difficult to do super well, like we see here, and simple things can easily go wrong. The strappy super high heels, her tattoos, the emerald green earrings, and her haircut all elevate the already perfectly fitting dress.

Caleb McLaughlin in Ports 1961 with a vintage Dior brooch: How old is this kid, like 14?! I was wearing ugly purple skinny jeans at 14!! Unfair. The mockneck of the sweater and the shawl lapel keep this black tuxedo from feeling boring, and the brooch adds that lil somethin’ somethin’… Keep your stylist around, Caleb!

Issa Rae in Prabal Gurung: This pose gives me Angie’s leg at the Oscars vibes and is not doing a ton of favors for the look, buuuut I feel like the dress would look so good from the side with the train/cape thing flowing out behind her.

Angelina Jolie in Atelier Versace: Perhaps a bit of an unpopular opinion, this one. I think I saw a comment somewhere that said she looked like a rich widow in her goth phase, and like….. I’m hella into that. She looks like she murdered her husband to get her hands on his fortune and now just swans around her mansion all day in her many feather boas, and that’s a good thing to me.

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Sarah Jessica Parker in Dolce & Gabbana: Starting off the looks I really was not feeling, Carrie Bradshaw herself. The dress itself is bewildering and looks like something a spoiled little girl would wear to her birthday party. The hairstyle and shoes don’t help in getting it out of that vibe.

Shailene Woodley in Ralph Lauren: I don’t even know where to begin with this. Shailene consistently disappoints me on the red carpet – but I guess it’s not even disappointing, since I expect bad looks from her. (Her Emmys 2017 green gown is an exception!) She looks like an automaton mannequin from the future, where we all squish our boobs with fishing nets.

Kate Hudson in Valentino: It KILLS me to put Valentino on a worst dressed list, because Valentino is my favorite high fashion designer brand and I always wish I saw it on more red carpets. Not like this, though!! Perhaps if the top was kept, but the bottom was altered to a tailored jumpsuit pant like Alexis Bledel..? As it is, it looks like ugly gauzy curtains.

Halle Berry in Zuhair Murad: Like a beach cover up had a baby with the babydoll dress style from the early 2000s and then mutated in the womb into cheap lingerie.

Grammys

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Cyndi Lauper in Moschino: Definitely an unpopular opinion here, and I think the hair + the shoes desperately need to change. BUT this suit?! I wish and dream and pray for more of this kind of thing. It fits her personality so well and I like that she’s not afraid of really going for it.

Lana Del Rey in Gucci: Star halo. Star halo. Star halo. It was game over the minute I spotted that star halo.

SZA in Atelier Versace: Her hair with the tulle (?) skirt and arms is a dreaaaam. I saw a comment that said this dress would work better on someone taller and with a less petite figure, and, yo, I hate the idea that you should be limited sartorially because we deem certain things “unflattering” for your body type. I think she looks like a vision of poof.

Hailee Steinfeld in Alexandre Vauthier: The teal eyeshadow + crisp white dress + metallic purple boots are a color story that I adore. I have mixed feelings about the copious amounts of fake tan though, because on the one hand I get that it pops against the white and the eyeshadow, but on the other hand it looks so fake and a bit tacky, too.

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Ne-Yo in Grayscale: Velvet mustard blazer, mmmmmm. And the hat! So good. I love seeing men do different things on the red carpet, and not “different” like Nick Jonas wearing a coat – I mean actually different.

Eve in Naeem Khan: Screaaaaaming!!!! Love a good jumpsuit/pant look on the red carpet, and this one is sparkly and fits so well! I’m not really feeling the hair, but I’m not sure what else I would prefer either. Maybe a high ponytail with the same curly texture?

Janelle Monae in Dolce & Gabbana: I feel like suits are Janelle’s comfort zone, so this isn’t super ~groundbreaking~ for her… But oh man, do I love her suits anyway. D&G does floral so well, and I always appreciate that Janelle isn’t afraid to button her shirt all the way up.

Camryn Howard in ??: Idk who this guy is or what he’s wearing but I do know that I love it!!!! The shades + the sequin blazer?!?! This is what I DREAM of seeing from men on the red carpet. Camryn, Ne-Yo, pls teach your fellow male celebs how to do it.

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Camila Cabello in Vivienne Westwood: This is another unpopular opinion, I think, but I hate this. I hate most of Camila Cabello’s red carpet looks. It looks like a prom dress. It looks like the girl from high school who is really rich but doesn’t know how to use her money past “buy me the most expensive dress from Bloomies please!”. (Disco ball purse is cute, though! Give it to Millie Bobby Brown!)

Katie Holmes in Zac Posen: I am so so so confused by this whole situation. What is with the shiny finger curls? The really severe makeup? The leather look pleated dress? The T-strap heels that look like something you could see at Payless ShoeSource??

Anna Kendrick in Balmain & La Perla: I would have loved this look, were it not for the pastel shoes. Literally what the fuck. Why would you ruin a good thing with those?? A good ol’ Stuart Weitzman Nudist strappy sandal would’ve been great here. Or a metallic shoe. Anything else.

Kristin Cavallari in Alex Perry: AKA A KNOCKOFF OF RIHANNA AT THE MET GALA!!!!!! Back off girl, you could never.

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