Month in Review

june 💢 month in review

June’s been over for a bit, and this time it really fuckin’ crept up on me in a way that hasn’t happened in a bit. I woke up on July 1st, looked at my phone, and was like “FUCK, July already?!” June was a teeny bit of a mess in my mind, I’d say. It’s been a shitty month of a shitty presidential administration and I’ve started my summer classes and it’s fucking boiling hot and we’ve seen some really fucking awful wildfires near where I live and my lord I’ve just been so harried. The prevailing feeling of June has been how I feel whenever I go to the airport – when I feel like I’ve forgotten something but it’s too late to turn back and I’m not even sure what that something is and I’m kinda behind schedule anyway and I marinate in anxiety for the entire journey to the plane.

1. suicide, kate spade, + anthony bourdain

Not to get super heavy, but sort of definitely to get really heavy because that’s what ya gotta do sometimes, the suicides of two really prominent people in American culture got us all thinking and talking about depression and what goes up in our brains. Mental health is something I think about a lot, mostly because I have hella anxiety and occasionally depression and if I don’t think about how to deal with it, it’s a real bad time, but it’s something I wish everyone thought about much, much more.

This is not a think piece about Kate or Anthony or how to prevent suicide or mental illness or get better, because all I have are my own experiences. But I just wanted to say something about it, as a thing that’s so goddamn near and dear to my heart. I try to be really open about my mental health struggz in the hopes that it might help anyone either deal with their own mental illness or be more empathetic and understanding of someone else’s. In our office a couple weeks ago, I was chattering away and oversharing (as usual) and another intern shared that he was going to his first therapy session for anxiety and depression and was having a really hard time talking about it with his friends and family. We had a talk about it and at the end he said something like ‘thanks for being so open, it really helps to see someone on the other end who understands’ and I almost cried from relief.

Anyway, to close, I hope everyone out there is doing OK, and if you’re not, that you’re still hanging on. If you’re in the US, our national suicide prevention number is 1-800-273-TALK, but if you hate talking on the phone like me you can text 741741 to reach the Crisis Text Line. If you’re worried about someone you know, there’s a Columbia-Suicide Severity Rating Scale (C-SSRS) that’s a series of simple questions to gauge risk and what kind of support someone may need. There’s hope somewhere for all of us out there even if it’s hard to find right now.

(Image from Hyperbole and a Half, the truest gem on the internet that there ever was, and probably the first big positive influence on my mental health. Allie speaks so hilariously and so truly about a shitty fucking thing. Also I think of her alot probably every day.)

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School, Style

what’s in my bag 🤓 school edition

I think anyone who says they don’t enjoy “what’s in my bag” or “what apps are on my phone” videos/posts are either lying or part of the robot army. How can you not be interested in that shit? I literally want to know everything about everyone. Like, what’s in your fridge? What’s your favorite brand of ketchup? Do you even buy ketchup?? Is your fridge organized??? What size milk do you buy????? WOULD LOVE TO KNOW.

Which is all to say, I’m a Stage 5 Nosy Person. I’m also a little bit of an oversharer – which shouldn’t be all that surprising, right? No one who has a blog is that concerned about keeping everything to themselves.

So in that vein, today I’m sharing what I carry in my bag every day for school!

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Month in Review

may ☀️ month in review

It’s that time of the month again! Not as in the colloquialism we commonly use for periods, although that is also true – my period usually falls right about the beginning of the month – but the time for a month in review blawg post. May brought me to the end of the spring semester and to the beginning of SUMMER! Or at least, the few weeks of no classes I have until my summer classes start.

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1. i’m exhausted!

May was the end of my spring semester and oh my god I was/am so goddamn tired. I think I am experiencing, what do the kids call it, “burn out”. Or perhaps it’s one word, “burnout”? Idk. Anyway, I did it, I burned myself out. I mean, I’ve been napping like crazy the past couple weeks and last night I slept for, like, 14 hours, dudes. I’m sort of confused about it, because I feel like I should feel more energized, what with being out of school and everything, but in hindsight I took terrible care of myself and it all caught up with me as soon as I exhaled into summer. I’m going to try and ask for some days off work/interning and just rest, but I also need to just take care of myself all the time and make that a non-negotiable thing in my life. Like, getting enough sleep, eating good food, exercising and being active, meditating…. all things I should really do and not in a bougie wine mom hobby kind of way but in a “I really need to do this or else I will feel like shit” kind of way. Fun times realizing you’re burning the candle at both ends and not living sustainably, eh!?!?!??!?????

2. the met gala

The first Monday of May brought us, of course, the Met Gala!! The last time I did a lil ~red carpet review~* was a couple months ago for the Grammys/Golden Globes, and once again no one asked for my thoughts, but I’m gonna give them anyway. For this event, the thing I despise the most is when people show up looking like they’re going to junior prom like Emma Roberts did last year. I mean, you’ve been given an invitation to come to this amazing event, to get an advance viewing of the Costume Institute’s annual exhibition, to wear something crazy and themed, and you squander it on…this? You could have just bought a Comme des Garçons outfit, it wasn’t that hard, Emma. OK, that’s enough venting about my general frustration vis-à-vis celebrities and the Met Ball lol let’s move on

FASHUN PROM QUEEN

Blake Lively (in Atelier Versace + all the other wonderful things she has on her body) is that girl in high school who is gorgeous and talented and popular and yet is also the sweetest, nicest, funniest person.

CONTINUING THIS FASHUN PROM ANALOGY…

Obviously the best dressed man – Chadwick Boseman in Versace. Honorable mention to Donald Glover with that back of the suit action.

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OK, so I obviously am running with this high school analogy, but this’ll be the last thing I say regarding that lol – if this were fashion prom, these 2 groups would be the most fun groups at the big house party afterwards. I want to talk boys with Troye and I want Ariana to tell me all about Pete Davidson and I want Hailey to do my makeup and Shawn can like sing or something while she does that. I don’t even need to explain why Migos would be fun, right?

(Troye Sivan in Valentino; Ariana Grande in Vera Wang; Hailey Baldwin in Tommy Hilfiger; Shawn Mendes in Tommy Hilfiger – Migos in Versace)

MY FAV 3~

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I like sparkly things.

(Stella Maxwell in Versace; Rihanna in Maison Margiela by John Galliano; Evan Rachel Wood in Altuzarra)

BEST BEAUTY/ACCESSORIES

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Best Overall: Lily Collins’ whole makeup look was my jam and I also think she had the best halo of the night.

Best Anna Wintour Earrings: Keltie Knight, who I honestly only know of because she’s friends with Jac Vanek (scene queen who used to make those rubber bracelets all the emo dreamboats wore), wore these amaaaaazing Anna Wintour earrings. They were handmade by Courtney Prince and Keltie’s gown, by Paolo Sebastian, is also a stunner.

Best Bedazzled Eyebrows: Cynthia Erivo, the eyebrow equivalent of a mic drop

IDK WHAT HAPPENED HERE GALS

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Party City Halloween Ho But Make it Fa$hun: Taylor Hill in Diane von Furstenberg

Most Disappointing: Emma Stone in Louis Vuitton. I mean, idk what happened with Emma! I loved her a few awards seasons ago! Remember that 2 piece pink look?! I pray every day that she might return to those glory days.

Most Consistently Disappointing: Hailee Steinfeld in Prabal Gurung. I’m not sure why I’m still disappointed with this one. I should just expect to be disappointed.

MOST GROUNDBREAKING

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I mean, can you push the envelope more, you guys?!? Holy shit. See also: the bajillion other male celebs who also wore boring. ass. shit.

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Photo Diary, Travel

socal 🎨 spring break photo diary (pt. 2 of 2)

On this day, my frond Olive and I headed to LA, city of angels, city of girls with very long fingernails, city of The Broad art museum!!!!! We did a couple other things too, but the main attraction was obviously The Broad.

(Above is my attempt at a cute handwritten title card, done with the back pages of my planner and photographed with my phone and messily cut out with my old Photoshop app. Ta da. Am I happy with it? Not really. Am I so unhappy with it that I’m willing to spend more time learning how to do it better right now? Also not really. Maybe when I’m like 72 I’ll be a self-taught PS master.)

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We went to Sprinkles Cupcakes, which, if you’ve spent any time at all on Instagram, you’ve probably seen a photo of their cupcake ATMs. A basic bee’s pilgrimage, honestly lol. The writing in the ceiling circle (what an awful description, but lmk if you can think of a better way to refer to that lol) is an ice cream recipe from Benjamin Franklin, I think. How cerebral/historic/cool, right? I appreciated that.

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The location we went to had both cupcakes and ice cream, and I prefer ice cream over cake so I got a cupcake sundae type thing with salted caramel ice cream and a vanilla cupcake covered with sprinkles. A word of warning – the salted caramel flavor is super fucking salty. The girl working warned me that it would be and I even tried a bit and decided I liked it, because my usual gripe with salted caramel ice cream is that there’s too much ‘caramel’ and not enough ‘salted’. I was wrong, y’all. I was so wrong. It would have been all fine and good if it were a kid’s cup of ice cream, but it was larger than I expected and after a while it just tasted like a salt water rinse had accidentally fallen into a vat of ice cream. I had a lot of feelings about it.

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OK lol moving on from the ice cream tragedy, we also took a walk around the UC Irvine campus. These lockers are from the art department and the stickers say “everything is not going to be ok”, so in case you were wondering if things were going to turn out alright? They’re not.

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The Broad!! Pronounced like “road”, for us non-locals. Admission is free but tickets are popular, so you can either reserve tickets online for the next month (so, for example, tickets for July are released on the 1st of June) or wait in line at the door, which is what we did. I think we got there at 9 and they opened at 10, but it wasn’t a huge deal because we just sat and chatted. I don’t mind waiting in lines too much, which I think is a bit of an uncommon feeling re: queues. I guess I look at it as an opportunity to hang out with whoever you’re with, or if you’re alone, catch up on some reading or something like that. (Obviously DMV lines etc are hell on earth – this sentiment really only applies to voluntary ‘fun’-ish lines like art museum admission.)

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An infinity room! Yayoi Kusama’s famous infinity rooms were very very cool. Still undecided as to whether the strict time limits are a valuable part of the artistic experience or just annoying as hell. I didn’t take a ton of photos on my camera as I was freaked out because of the time limits, so I just kind of waved my phone around and tried to take it in.

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The paid exhibition going on at that time was for Jasper Johns. We just did the free stuff.

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Photo Diary, Travel

socal 🌴 spring break photo diary (pt. 1 of 2)

Another day, another severely belated travel diary! Spring semester ended for me a few days ago, but during spring break (so at the end of March) I went to visit my best frond in SoCal, where she goes to sk00l with Peter the Anteater at UC Irvine. I stayed with her and her boyfriend (and their lovely dog) and we had a good few days of hangin’ out, art museum-ing, and eating lots of food, all of which are so so so nice any time but even nicer for ~long distance friendships~* like ours.

These photos are from the day we went to Laguna Beach, which you may know from esteemed reality TV show starlet turned lifestyle guru/Something Corporate bassist’s wife Lauren Conrad’s host of TV shows. Or at least that’s how I know of the city, lol. We started off at the Laguna Art Museum, then had lunch at Urth Caffé and had a long walk by the beach terrorizing anemones. (In our defense, we didn’t realize they were anemones. We didn’t know what the fuck they were, as the most marine education we have had is from Finding Dory.)

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Laguna Beach has an art museum, which was $5 entry for students but PRICELESS FOR CULTURAL IMPACT. Just kidding I think pricey art museums are bullshit and another way the bourgeoisie keeps lower classes down by depriving them of intellectual stimulation. Not to get all heavy and Marxist on ya ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Anyway I never turn down an art museum! The exhibition they had going on right then was on Tony DeLap, who is LITERALLY LIKE 90 YEARS OLD NOW AND STILL KICKIN’. I mean, what a legend. Lol, DeLap was one of UC Irvine’s founding art professors and his work focuses on abstract sculpture and minimalism.

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A lot of abstract/contemporary is very befuddling to everyone, including me, a self-proclaimed art luvr. It’s like, what is this red block? What does it mean? Why?? An article I read forever ago and keep going back to and foist upon anyone who listens to me for more than two seconds is this one from Salon, which describes abstract art and how it interacts with our brains from the perspective of a neuroscientist and his research. Basically, abstract art forces our brains to work in a different way than we’re used to and that’s why it bothers most people – super interesting and eye-opening and everyone should read the whole damn thing.

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Month in Review

april 🐣 month in review


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1. the end is nigh

As in, the end of the spring semester is nigh. And I cannot fucking wait. I need a break!!! I need summer!!! I need to lounge around all day in shorts and wear Birkenstocks 24/7. I’ve just started an internship with a state senator, so I’ve been doing that for the past couple weeks + my 5 classes + my part-time job at a restaurant + you know, living as a human bean andddd my self-care is suffering like mad. By that I don’t mean that I’ve been taking 2 bubble baths a week instead of 6, I mean I’ve gotten so little sleep I’ve felt dangerously sleepy while driving home from school/work/internship/wherever. I need to up my time management and prioritize things that make me function but aren’t fun to do (like doing dishes and keeping the Pile of Clothes on a Chair – we all have that, right? – to a minimum) or else I’m literally going to have a breakdown in the state capitol one day – I don’t think that would be a good political debut. Anyway, we’re in the home stretch! After this week I have two more weeks and then summer will be upon me. (I’ll be taking summer classes, so it’s not really a true unbridled summer of hedonism, but you know.)

2. things i liked that u cannot touch


The Story of StuffConsumerism, our beloved American way of life, is literally the shittiest thing ever. We watched this video in my environmental biology class and I think it sums up why in a really informative yet accessible way, and I especially loved the quote she mentioned from Victor Lebow, from his 1955 essay in the Journal of Retailing, which shows how we’ve been duped into our consumerist mindset by marketers and businessmen who care about $$$ more than us –

“Our enormously productive economy demands that we make consumption our way of life, that we convert the buying and use of goods into rituals, that we seek our spiritual satisfactions, our ego satisfactions in consumption. The measure of social status, of social acceptances, of prestige, is now to be found in our consumptive patterns. The very meaning and significance of our lives today expressed in consumptive terms.

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Photo Diary, Travel

london leftovers

So, I lied about 2 things. The first is that I was done posting my London photos from last year. I’m not. I found some more on another memory card. The second is something I said at the beginning of 2018 – I was going to post once a week. Obviously that hasn’t happened!! But I’m gonna keep trying and maybe I’ll hit that goal for the rest of the year?!

Anyway, let’s get into these leftover London pics o’ mine.

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